2005-02-12 ~ 5:23 p.m.

Would you like Some Life With That Stress?

Wow, I haven't updated in 41 days. Not that is unusual, but it just seems like I've updated more recently than that. Maybe I'm losing what I have left of my mind. I'm not sure what I really want to say, I know I have a ton that I should get off my chest, but damned if I can think of it. Why am I writing now then? Because I am at work, it is dull and as such is a perfect time to update as I am at a computer and don't have a whole lot else I have to do this exact minute. Now that I've said that I can think of several things I should be doing to get ready for this coming week. My stress level is slowly escalating. I've got so much on my plate right now...like:

Work Related: I currently have one staff member on vacation. My assistant manager just handed in her resignation so I have two weeks to find someone new. My other staff member is often unavailable. Next week is inventory for the store and I'm still trying to figure out what I'm doing. It's harder than hell to cover some shifts plus I should be starting on next month's schedule soon.

Family Related: Went to my (supposed...don't ask) grandparents 50th wedding anniversary yesterday. I had to, was performing in the program. Other than that I spent most of the time in the kitchen serving cake to old people I have never even met and relatives I don't even remember. It was....a long night. Had to get up early to drive back home and get to work on time today. Fun Fun

Health Wise: I am slowly getting my pills back up where they are supposed to be, but it's meant a weekly doctor's appointment for the last month. Plus these damn pills are so fricking expensive, I need to make more money. My mood is somewhat stablizing, but still not great. I get touchy at stupid things. I cry at really dumb things and generally have an even more tainted view on reality as of late. True I don't want to kill people (or myself) as often but still not 100%.

Relationships: Not ready to go there right now.

Personal: This coming week is Canadian Idol Auditions. Yes I know it's silly, but I really want to go. I've just about turned myself inside out to get someone to cover my shift at work so I can go. I once thought I would be a singer as a career, that dream has long since faded, but I still want to give it a shot. Except now that the auditions are so close I'm petrified. It frustrates me that I am this nervous and second guessing myself every two minutes. I mean, how bad can it be? They tell me I suck and I leave right? Well, maybe not. I just don't know. Stupid nerves.

Anyways, there are people in my store finally so I should go work. Do my million of things I should be doing and try to relax....yeah, cause that will happen. Ah well.

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