2004-07-17 ~ 10:17 p.m.

Lost Children

It's strange. I was always spending so much time trying to talk to my boyfriend as opposed to one of his alts, and now one of them is gone, and I miss him. I feel bad for not spending enough time with him. I guess I started looking at them as if they were all my children. I mean sometimes they drove me nuts, and sometimes I felt overwhelmed because I couldn't always talk to my BF when I wanted to, but I still cared about everyone of them. Marc is gone now, and I didn't even really get to say goodbye. It's strange, because I still go shopping, look at toys and go, OOOOH Marc would love that, only Marc isn't around anymore...at least not the way he was before. It's so odd. I kept telling my BF we would figure out a way to get them all to 'reintergrate' and stop making so much noise, but now we realize we didn't really want them gone. They're part of the family. I fear for when the rest start to go. I love them all....I really do. I don't know when it happened...but it did.
Anyways, I'm pretty sure I'm babbling and not even sure if I'm making any sense. It's day 20 of working in a row, so I'm a little fried. I suppose I will shut-up now, and get ready for day 21.

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