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2003-12-15 ~ 12:07 a.m.
Off the pathI can't sleep. I need to. It's going to be a long day tomorrow. But I can't. I'm so mad at myself. I called my boyfriend cause I needed to be comforted, and somehow we ended up fighting. That isn't where I wanted to go. I had just wanted to hear him say he loved me and missed me. I just needed to be reminded things aren't so bad. That isn't the path that it went down. I'm too emotional I know. He doesn't think I trust him. And maybe he's right. But I am trying. Can someone please tell me how can I learn to trust? How can I set aside all my fucked up problems and just know it's going to be alright? I love him. Beyond all thought. There is simply no words for it. I hurt when he's not around. The world becomes grey and lifeless. Like there is no sun, no joy when I'm not with him. So why did I fight with him? That isn't what I wanted. He told me to make an entry....and I said no. Because I was upset, and lonely. It was so stupid. So here is the entry. Consider it my apology my love. I am trying, despite what it may appear. I'm confused and emotional. I didn't mean to frustrate you. I love you...always. | ||
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